Officially Sad

So last night was the awards dinner which went fast but sucked. (I need to insert the fact that I looked pretty awesome, hopefully Tets got some pictures). Noone on our teams made it-and we were totally ignored. So after dinner went for drinks with usual group plus JD, Sofie Gwen. I just don't get what's going on in company right now and what the options are for me to sell anything in the next year. Also it makes me doubt all that I've been doing, a few months of being distracted by divorce and my guilt gets me thinking I haven't been doing stuff right. So I can try and do stuff right, but the executives at work have just totally converted to total A holes...it's the total white man club, and they don't care what it feels like for everyone else because they are in charge. It's getting to the point that I am not sure how to make Dan and Tets think all is well. Whatever. I'm going to stay home for a few days and get my head together on work, and try and do some work from home on the more conceptual stuff. Hopefully that will help me find the ray of light.

So super cute guy is pretty awesome and that makes me officially sad. I don't want to go back to meeting idiots from the internet. His team went big on the awards and they were out celebrating, but he came to find me, I joined them there, big group so easy to have fun, Tets Dan and Ethan were there too. A little before 1 I decided to call it, and said goodnight, he said he was going to join me soon. But it took a long time, he kept txting and finally got away. it's a little tough when all your peeps want you to stay out all night and celebrate. When he got to my room he told me he's going to quit and work for the company that's stealing all our people. Which surprises me, doesn't seem to be all that from what I've heard, but he had it all figured out. He's going to work their Chicago area. So we laid around and talked and slept a little, he had to leave for the airport by 4 so had to leave my room by 3 to get ready.

If I wasn't at the airport now sitting at a gate in vegas I would be a total crying mess. I just want something like that around all the time, not in an instant relationship sort of way, but as an option to date and get to know. His raising the bar makes it seem event tougher to uncover that at home. He's going to do the bike ride with us in October, so I do look forward to kicking ass on the workouts until then and looking even more amazing by then. What's the BCS here? Long distance what? I know he likes me but it's in the context of this doesn't work logistically. FUCK.