Look What I did today

I road my bike up Newport Coast. it took about 20 min but I did it! I didn't die!

Nuthin

Saturday morning! First one home in a month! Slept in, hanging out with Bella, gonna meet Jenn and Evelyn at the gym. My back still hurts a little and I ate too much yesterday and don't know what I want to do before the gym. Eat? Protein Shake? I think I'll go out to eat after so not sure.

Last night was a little tough reading a book where everyone's falling in love and loving not being alone, and those magic minutes between awake or asleep are where it all gets messy and I'm not tough or strong. But this AM I am tough and strong, not bad to have an instant restart :)

I have a lot to do to get Keith ready for his trip and I'm trying to get some work done as well this week even though I'm taking a few days off. It'll happen. I wish I had someone to go on a tough bike ride with this weekend, I definitely work harder if someone else is around, but I am kinda looking forward to putting myself on Newport Coast alone. We'll see!

Bike Bike Bike bikety bike bike

The double workouts on Tuesdays are kicking my ass. About 1/2 into the bike ride in the evening's I am spent, I have a bit of wind, and then just try and finish respectably close to the rest of them. I love it though, hard to explain, it's all the things you shouldn't love. Awkward, hard, uncomfortable physically, I'm totally not the boss of it, but I love it. I think I need a new seat, ASAP, the girl parts are suffering. I went to the Dr today to be sure it wasn't anything else, but basically it's irritated with me, which is not a good place to be. I could totally have sex but totally not interested in doing it alone due to general discomfort.

What else? I've been trying to turn it up at work which may have some good results, Tets is super happy with his raise and new plan so I am really happy for him :):):) He wrote me the sweetest email about how he always thought 6 figures were for someone else, he never new it could happen.
Makes me feel pretty great to get him somewhere special.

Sometimes Thursday nights are tough. Thank goodness the bike ride keeps me busy until 8, then I go for ramen, then home, shower, sleep. But kids are gone, and it's tough. Hard to shake that someones not looking out for me when I feel I need it. I am still very grateful for what I have, what I've been shown, and I know it's all good, but a little lonely on Thursday night, I'm just sayin', is all

Working a Plan

So I was thinking on the flight home how the internet thing makes me feel, especially in light of meeting someone of quality, so I'm turning in the passwords for a while. I think I'll try to go until Nov. and just focus on myself, training, kids, work, meeting people in other ways and see if that works. I need to value my time more, I need to have the real feeling inside that I can wait and never settle. I guarantee this blogs going to get more complaint oriented....Why don't men like me, I'll never have sex again, etc. But I'm going to use it to avoid the other sites. Oh! I could even block them, like when keith gets in trouble and I block myspace.

Productivity!

I'm home today getting some stuff done. Me and the kids are all going somewhere next week and none of us together, so we gotta get the laundry done, packed, straightened up. I got shit to do! so far I've had keith clean his room, 2 loads of laundry (not folded), dishes, unpacked, back of car cleaned up (offshoot of the garage getting straightened up so I had room to do laundry. I've got to put my clothes away, fold laundry, bella's room. O! I also went to the store. I have to pick her up from school, then she has some $ she wants to spend at the disney store. Busy. much to busy to go to work today.

Last night I put my bike on the trainer and road for a while and watched the end of the tour de france. I was sweating immediately, and according to the new watch burned about 300 calories in 35 min. Pretty damn good. It's super loud though....I'm gonna take the bike outside this afternoon and try and track the calories with the watch. Will definitely make me work harder, it better burn as much as being inside.

Nothing else really, got an email this AM from the Asian guy, I think he has a girl friend, what else can explain no email on the weekend. I guess I'll just ask, but there's no real reason for me to care.

I am starting to really hate the celebrity BS of Us magazine and TMZ and all that shit that I read every day. I haven't stopped but, doood it makes me feel dumber everytime I do it. It's so misogynistic and retarded. It has no value, barely entertainment. Just feeds the need for imformation. Imagine if I put as much into gathering info about darfur, climate change, my health, parenting. Dood I'm feeling like an ass right now. I'd totally speak Japanese by now if I put as much time into that as gossip.

No big woop

First of all someone read my blog! A stranger! I think I flagged something Japan, and she must of done a blog search. Crazy! Made me want to have other people read it, but of course selectively, strangers only. Knife licker emailed me and I told him there wasn't a connection, good luck and good bye. I am relieved! So weird how every interaction is some how a step in the right direction, exercising discretion, not settling, saying no and walking. Seems so simple but I had no idea how to do that in the past.

I went to Yoga today which is just what my body was asking for 24hr fitness yoga kinda sucks but I over spent last this month, so don't need to be spending $15 for above average yoga right now. The instructor was a tiny cute Asian girl. I though she might be japanese, but as soon as she started talking it was like that episode of Seinfeld where they go to the nail shop, she was tough to understand, like a cartoon Chinese person. Anyway my legs and back are much happier now than they were this morning. Tomorrow is Spin and Bike ride...I asked Maleah about training me and she said yes. So I'm going to have to prepare to get my ass kicked. She's all about changing the eating habits too, so that's gonna be tough, but also get some great results. It's amazing that this is finally going to happen. I am really going to get completely fit. After all these years, I am doing it.

I went with Tets and Takemura and Mac to Stray Cats last night. Really good seats, Tets was in heaven. Said he thought they only existed in the TV. They were such a big deal in Japan, I am sure that has something to do with the current state of his hair :). I guess Lindsey was there last night too, which is funny, I originally didn't want to go because I thought he'd be there, and said Fuck It, done accommodating him. Something else that makes me feel like there's progress, I went, nothing to hide, no drama, and he can see it for himself.

I bought 2 tickets to foo fighters in LV in Sept. Not sure why I went through with it. Will need someone to go with, and will have to go to Vegas. Maybe I'll have a date worthy guy around by then. Can't take Keith, 21 and over only.

So that's it....2 possible internet guys left. 1 Asian guy who's pretty racy in his profile on Chemistry and one kinda middle eastern looking guy who I contacted who's been good in the communication. I shut off Yahoo...Chemistry and Match are gonna come up for renewal any day. I guess I'll kill Match and just go with the flow on Chemistry. Good practice, and nothing else is happening (yet).