Moving Parts

I was feeling pretty good for about a week or so. Took a big dose of suck it up and started working on what might make me feel better in general. I applied for some volunteer stuff, re learning the Getting Things Done approach to organization/life/work. Hit the road for business this week, rough travel days and the ambiguity and malaise starts setting in. I can see it happening which is helpful to observe how it works. I don't have enough to do, I sit around and surf the web looking for inspiration and it feel shitty. It's just not enough movement or momentum.

Also I've been writing down what I've been eating this trip. It's not good. Also lots of drinking, which makes for more social fun but conflicts with other objectives. I've had plenty of sitting around time today, but going to the gym seems highly unlikely. So when I wrote previously it shouldn't be so hard to eat about 1500 calories a day and get 1 hr of exercise it apparently is.

A few approaches for change-for the next few days focus on getting enough sleep-therefore I should be able to wake up a bit early and exercising first thing (could start on Saturday with exercise). Keep writing down what I am eating and eliminate some food choices (a chicken quesadilla should be off limits when reading a menu).

The GTD method as a project for me will help capture all kinds of objectives-taking classes-write it down, prioritize, etc. Healthy living, socializing etc etc etc.

I think I need to take some old school basic steps of scheduling my time, looking at steps towards long range goals as daily activities, creating momentum, keeping these depressive tendencies at bay.

Headache

Today is Sunday Dec 13th. I drove to LA with the dog to go to a craft show with Marie that was actually held on Dec 12th. So much on my mind I can't keep a social engagement in check. I'm OK with that, it happens. Marie's BF watched the dog who had a great time with their dog.

I have a headache from my head to my heels with tension. Keith is flipping out about not getting money, threatening to steal "Don't be surprised if you get a call from the cops", to which I replied "don't be surprised if I don't answer". What's going to work? What can I do to make a difference? Kids don't care about their parents feelings, I know this isn't about me, but what can I do to make him safe?

The more time I spend at home the less I want to leave it. Tomorrow is a short trip to San Jose then nothing until after the holidays. Feeling sad, not sure what it is. I'd like to catch a break. I know the blessings and I count them. I honor them, celebrate them. I'd like to leave a lot of 2009 in 2009. I remember feeling that way last New Years Eve as well. The piece of the puzzle that I am looking for is what is my part in this? What about me can I change to get a different result. I hope the answer is near by, to be found out on a walk with the dog. At the bottom of a pile of laundry I need to fold.